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09 August 2010 @ 01:40 pm
TB rant for episode 3.8 "Night on the Sun"  

 

Another week, another fucked up episode of True Blood. As this point Alan Ball is making me question my Eric love, and that my friends, is a major feat. We’ll start with the less important stuff.

                                                                                                  

4 WTF storylines: Sam and the useless Mickens, Lafayette/Jesus, Jason/Crystal and Arlene’s pregnancy. What is the point of any of these?! After seeing how the Merlotte’s abandoned him, is anyone really surprised that Sam’s bio fam is seriously fucked up? Really? This is one of the changes from the book that could have been brilliant, but instead has gotten bogged down the white-trash-shape-shifter cliché. We still have no idea why Mama Mickens is with Joe Lee and honestly, I don’t care. Speaking of batshit, trachy mamas…Ruby Jean. Huh? Am I the only one who thinks that Jesus may have facilitated Ruby Jean’s escape? While pretty, I don’t trust Jesus as far as I can throw him. And Ruby Jean…damn. She’s batshit crazy, but this is True Blood so who isn’t? In her ravings we find out that Lafayette is “powerful.” What the ever loving fuck? Seriously? We need yet another quasi-Supe in this godforsaken town? A telepath, a shifter and a couple of vampires aren’t enough? Now in the book at this point Lafayette’s dead, so Alan’s got to give him some kind of story, I guess. But again my book complaint is rearing its ugly show head: TOO MANY FUCKING SUPES. Sheesh. Which brings us to Jason and the residents of Hot Shot. This story is sorta kinda like the book, but poor Crystal is absolutely fugly and looks like she’s about 60. Holy lord. I don’t get why Jason’s so enamored with her and again, I don’t care. Another thing I don’t care about? Arlene’s pregnancy. What is the point of this? Why are we bringing Rene up again? Why can’t Arlene and Terry be the cute slightly odd couple on this show? Ugh.

 

I thought my prayers (figurative prayers, of course) were answered in the first few minutes: Sookie screaming bloody murder at the sight of Bill. Then they broke up. Halle-fucking-lujah! No, Sookie, you shouldn’t forgive the lying, stalking bastard for nearly draining you dry. Good girl. I in no way feel sorry for Bill due primarily to the aforementioned lying and stalking. So Sookie goes home, with Alcide in tow for some bizarre reason, and then refuses to press charges against Bill. Jason is outraged and intends on going on a rampage but gets distracted by fugly Crystal. Joy. BTW, Tara calling Sookie out for still being in love with Bill, despite what he did, is a case of pot kettle. Um, Tara…remember Eggs? That guy you were distraught over to the point of suicide 5 minutes ago? I wouldn’t be throwing stones, hookah. Also, why the hell is Alcide there? Not only is he the worst bodyguard EVER, but he and Sookie have zero chemistry. Him sniffing her on the porch? Gross. And he needs to learn basic strategy. Debbie may be batshit, but she’s not dumb apparently. Burning down Alcide’s sister’s salon? That’s what the military types call a DIVERSION. Go after the fam guaranteed that Alcide would leave Sookie vulnerable. WORST. BODYGUARD. EVER.

 

Sookie’s contention that she didn’t want anyone else to die protecting her shows that she’s even dumber than Jason! Jason is at least aware of his stupidity. Sookie actually thinks her “selflessness” is smart. She really is too dumb to live. I don’t know why Eric is bothering sending her warnings. She’s too stupid to heed him. Woman, the guy is a thousand years old and for some reason gives a shit about you. Listen to him. Oh and when a batshit crazy werewolf hyped up on V shows up to kill you (does anyone really think that Debbie would be content just beating her up? Russell or no Russell, Debbie was there with killing intentions. Just sayin’.), SHOOT. HER. Don’t fuck around with warnings and chick fights. Just shoot her. At this point the book plot is all shot to hell anyway, so why not? Meanwhile it looks (briefly) like Bill grew a pair, calling Russell and coward and lazy. I actually LOL’d at that. Then Bill shows his idiocy by attacking the 3000 year old vamp. Russell takes off literally (BTW, did we know that Russell could fly? WTF?! Why did her and Eric fuck around with the car drive to New Orleans then? Ugh.). Sadly without killing Bill, of course. Then Bill and Sookie reunite with some really disgusting hate sex in Sookie’s demolished room. Are you fucking kidding me? Is everyone in Bon Temps severely brain damaged?

 

Apparently the only NON-brain damaged person around here is Eric, although I’m questioning that. I get the melodramatic, over the top speech to Russell about loyalty and all that bullshit. Revenge is a dish best served cold and all that. And a big yay to sending Hadley to Sookie with that warning, even though we all know she’s too stupid to actually listen to him. That warmed by Eric and Sookie loving heart. But did we really need the gay vampire sex? What little we saw of it anyway. Before everyone starts screaming at me, hear me out. As a book!Eric person it made me cringe. Anyone who’s read the books knows all about Eric, Appius and the forced sex. And they know how traumatizing it is for Eric even today. Now, yeah, book!Eric and show!Eric are not the same…yada, yada, yada. I get it. I guess what really bugged me was two fold. One, can we all say double standard? Sookie/Bill hate sex gets a boatload of screen time and Eric/Talbot gets what? Ten seconds? Maybe? If you’re gonna go there, let’s get some equal screen time, Alan Ball! At least let Eric give Talbot a happy before he kills him! Sheesh. Second, what’s with the melodramatic dialogue? Quit fucking around with the dramatics and just kill him. Don’t give the vampire a chance to defend himself! Eric should know better than that! Ugh. STOP RUINING MY ERIC, ALAN BALL!

 

30 days until The Vampire Diaries returns. Damon, Elena, Alaric and the rest of the Mystic Falls gang will be back. Thank god.

 

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The Resident Vampire: TB - Newlin - War/Evil Whorevamp926 on August 10th, 2010 01:38 am (UTC)
*APPLAUDS* I AGREE. I WANT TO PUNCH ALAN BALL IN THE FACE. LIKE, SERIOUSLY, HE HAS SOOKIE ACTING LIKE BELLA SWAN BECAUSE OF HIS PERPETUAL HARD ON FOR BILL. PLEASE GTFO.
michellemtsu: Alexander Skarsgard - GQmichellemtsu on August 10th, 2010 01:44 am (UTC)
Amen. I hate the Bill show. Can we have the Eric and Pam show instead?